Joel: “We can’t call it a sabbatical because that would mean you are doing something for the betterment of the school.” I am not doing this for my employer. I am doing this for my family. I guess in some backwards way, my employer will benefit because I will have a year of experiences, a year of balance. I could see myself coming back refreshed. Most importantly though, 75% of the face time with our kids is gone by age 12. Let that sink in…
Emily: In September 2021, after a date night at Oolong, one month until Eamonn arrived, we walked around the block and I bared my heart like I have many times to Joel. I shared how I didn’t think I wanted to keep practicing OT at least not full time. I had jumped into school based practice and poured my heart into getting to know this new area of practice and felt exhausted after that first year. I also did this in the middle of the COVID pandemic, which added even more challenges to learning the ropes of this new area of practice. From that point on, I spent a considerable amount of time and energy discerning. Joel dug more into financial independence and how we could make insurance coverage work without employee support, and I focused on identifying the true needs of each member of our family, and our marriage.
Joel: My employer does not have a history of granting voluntary leaves. Not so much they they don’t do it and more so no one asks! It is something I have been rolling around in my head for about a year. In January 2023, I was walking by our chief administrator’s office and I thought what the hell, let’s start the conversation. To be honest, I don’t even remember having a definitive plan with Emily prior to this conversation. We might have briefly mentioned it once or twice.
Emily: I spoke with my employers in January 2022 about the possibility of part time work. Initially, I was nervous about their reaction to the request as I had just started this position a little over a year prior, but I knew the worst they would say is no and the best is they’d try to make it work. They were incredibly supportive and honest with what that may look like in reality given past part time employee experienced. One thing I learned from my first seven years of OT practice is hearing “no” actually isn’t that scary or painful. After consideration, my employer said it was not an option for the 2022-2023 school year, but to bring it back to the table in the future if it was still something I was interested in exploring and they would consider it again. I signed my contract for another school year. Joel and I continued talking about our vision for our family and married life as a whole. But, with four kids, those conversations were intermittent and brief at best. They were in text messages, social media or photo shares of families traveling the US and world, and camper van builds. They were between dinner table spats or before getting out of bed for our morning workout routines. We were both basically working on our own ends toward our collective goal without a whole lot of long conversations.
Joel: To my amazement, my boss said they would entertain it, but I would have to find my own replacement. It’s pretty hard finding a teacher to sign up for a one year contract. I also wish this first meeting was the end of it with the school; but to be honest, we had a lot more discussions. It was good one day and maybe not going to happen the next. After clarifying my hope of spending more time with my kids and putting my wife first, they did agree on the condition they could find a replacement.
Emily: In January 2023, after a year of reflection and introspection, I met with my administrators and submitted my resignation letter. This was not an easy choice. Joel can attest to that with my many, many requests to “just talk about it” again… and again. At one point, he said we had talked about it “ad nauseam.” I had spent 7 years in medical based practice, then another 2.5 years honing my skills in school based practice, and enjoyed many facets of it. I had a lot more to learn, but had gained many skills and knowledge to support kids as well as the families and teams supporting them. I loved being part of a learning community again. I loved being surrounded by professionals dedicated to implementing best practice in OT and all things development. I loved helping people.
Joel: Emily was resigning and focusing on being a stay-at-home mommy while I planned to take a “one year voluntary leave of absence,” as I was directed to call it. This was a multifaceted undertaking. For starters, you do need to get your employer on board. They will never say yes unless you ask. So ask!
Emily: Again, if this type of thing is on your heart and mind, then what’s the worst that happens by asking - they say no. Then life goes on.
Joel: Or you change jobs!
Joel: It’s probably a pretty good idea to get your partner on board as well. Does this align with your life goals?
Emily: My career goals had always been vague, but it was still a huge part of my identity and my life. One thing the two years of prayer and introspection made clear again was that I have always wanted to be a mom. It’s the single component that pulled me from a place of illness toward a journey of wellness when the possibility of becoming a mother was in question as a confused, hurting 18 year old. I couldn’t deny the internal pull to shift my energy and focus from career to the vocation (not just role) of motherhood - to the needs of my own tiny humans and husband. I know this career choice to enter school based practice was in line with God's plan as it catapulted a level of growth I cannot concisely put into words and I will be eternally grateful for. Though, I also knew it was time to step away for my own health and that of my family.
Joel: The next thing I had to do was find a one year replacement. This is no small task. I put a few feelers out, but to be honest the eventual yes was my first ask. He is a friend that has coached wrestling with me for four years. He will be a first year teacher and do a great job. It kind of felt like divine intervention with how the stars aligned. But nonetheless, he signed on in April and granted my family this year.
Emily: There is no denying this was God's work. This teacher and friend made this vision possible.
Joel: Another major obstacle is living without getting a paycheck. For some, you may want to shut your computer now because you think it’s not happening for you. I would refer you to our earlier articles. The only way this is possible is if you have your financial house in order.
Emily: If you don’t want to refer to the other articles, here’s a nutshell. We’ve been very disciplined with finances since the first few months of our marriage, and we’re both natural savers and hard workers before that. We focused on paying off student loan debt, saving for a down payment, paying off our mortgage early, then building toward financial independence. This took strategy and discipline. We never lived without what we needed, but we kept laser focused on “wants vs needs” - carefully and intentionally discerning which of the wants we would invest in. We also learned early how to live on one income, and even with kids, kept that philosophy and practice.
Joel: Dang girl…
Emily: Shush (eye roll).
Joel: Yes, our house is paid off and that affords us a lot of freedom. Plus we live in a low cost of living area - thank you, Iowa. Here’s a plug to buy less house and break the chains! Not necessarily advocating for an early payoff. That’s very much an individual choice and I can see both arguments. But, because we paid off our house before we really understood cheap interest rates and investing, we can now live for about $3000 a month.
Emily: Some of what we do others are not willing to do. For example, I drive a 2012 Honda Odyssey with the permanent reminder of hitting a deer at 70mph via the duct taped and zip tied repaired front end. I get self conscious at times, wishing I just had a “nice” vehicle. Then I think, “a new car or explore the world with my family” and can immediately focus back in on what my true priorities are. A safe, reliable vehicle is what I need and what I have, even if it looks janky!
Joel: She calls it janky, I think it looks sweet. Last week our next door neighbor stopped by and said “what happened to you car?” I told him Emily hit a deer about 8 months ago. He said he couldn’t tell. Yay duct tape! But back to the story, you must live on a budget. You need to know where your money is going. If your relationship with money causes you consternation, fix it! Start with Dave Ramsey. His system really helped us in the beginning. We live a modest lifestyle. We have control over the big three (house, car, and food).
Emily: Food is my jam and there may be articles in the future outlining some things we do to reduce costs on food for our growing family. The main things I focus on are buying quality food at lower prices (thank you, ALDI), getting creative and intentionally about wasting very little food, and eating at home for the majority of our meals.
Joel: We needed to save $36,000 to make this year a reality. I know this sounds very difficult. Our superpower is our budget which allows us a very high savings rate in excess of 50%. It also helps to have a side hustle to bring in a little bit of money throughout the year. As it stands, I have $1,500 rolling into our checking account every two weeks. It’s coming from our savings account. I did this because we have become accustomed to getting paid every two weeks.
We have answered why a year off and how we did it financially. In future, articles we will touch on what we are going to do during our year off. “Won’t you get bored” was a common phrase I heard. Can’t wait to explain the “NO.” You get one shot at raising your kids, one shot at living. Live a story worth reading!
Key Takeaways
Ask for what you want. And fight for it if you need to!
Dream big!
Be patient with the process of both discernment and the action of making the dream a reality.